Let's Talk About Women
by The Queen's General
Summary: After finding out that young William Scully has a secret girlfriend, Agent Myers decides to tell the boy a few home truths about women.


Disclaimer: I don't own X-files or anything related.

**Let's Talk About Women**

**By**

**The Queens General**

Agent George Myers causally wondered down the hall towards Director Dana K. Scully office. He was due- well overdue would be more accurate- to give her an update on the Peterson case, but he knew that she had an important twelve o'clock meeting with some of the other directors so he didn't see any reason to rush.

As he approach her office door he saw Scully's young fifteen year old son William, sitting on the sofa as he waited for his mother's meeting to finish.

A board smile crossed Myer's face as he sat down next to the red-headed teenager. "Hello Will."

"Hi, Mr. Myers," the boy greeted with a smile, but his body language stated that he didn't really want to be seated next to the man, as he shifted awkwardly in his seat.

They sat in silences for a moment, before Myers took a quick glance around making sure no one was with in ears length. Then slowly he lend sideways until his head was next to William's.

"I hear you have a girlfriend," he murmured in a low tone.

William started at this, quickly looking around to make sure no one had heard. "How did you find out?" He whispered back.

"I have my sources," Myers replied with a wink.

"You haven't told my mum, have you?" His voice had a slight edge of panic to it.

"No, and don't worry your secret is safe with me," Myers replied.

William sighed with relief.

"So tell me, has your old man had the 'women talk' with you yet?" Myers enquired.

"Ah no, but school has," William answered surprised at the question.

"School, what would they know, it all about what's in the books," Myers dismissed. "I tell you, you don't know anything until you get some real life experience."

"Mr. Myers is this conversation really necessary," William asked, embarrassed by the topic.

Myers stared at him in horror. "Off course it's necessary!" He exclaimed. "I can't let you go through life without knowing a few truths and fact."

"Really, you don't need to…" William began but Myers cut him off.

"Listen close, because I am going to open your eyes." Myers cleared his throat. "Women are the most beautiful, gorgeous, kindest angels any man could ever ask for. But as soon as you do something wrong… BAM!" he slapped his hands together causing William to jump, "…they're like a war zone, grenades exploding here, missiles flying there, bullets zigzagging all over the place." He waved his hands around in the air. "There is no escape, no where to hide, you just have to duck and pray you don't get hit by the full force of the explosion. And once the dust has settled there isn't even hope of tiptoeing out of there, because their inbuilt radars are way beyond any technology we currently have. They have eyes everywhere. And the only way to make peace is with chocolates and flowers, lots of them." Myers placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. "But that's just mild compared to when you've really crossed the line. When that happens everything goes silent, still, you can't even here any crickets. Then…KABOOM…" He made the impression of a nuclear explosion going off. "…once that happens all your defenses are blown away in an insist, and the carnage is just awful. Hard couches, house chores, no going out with the guys. You think there is no surviving it, until you bring home that first diamond necklace, then the clouds part and you see a glimpse of that angel. That's when you know everything is going to be okay," he finished.

William didn't replied, only sat there taking it all in, then after a moment he found the right words. "Mr. Myers, you do know I'm dating your daughter don't you?"

"Of course I do," Myers stated with a smile. "Welcome to the family by the way."

"Uh thanks," he paused before continuing. "When you refer to women are you talking about your…" he couldn't finish.

"No, though she does have her mother's temper," Myer's reflected, then he turned his attention back on William. "I'm talking about the biggest, most powerful nuclear bomb ever created…"

Suddenly the office door open and Director Scully stepped out.

"…and here it is!" He gave Scully a board smile, before whispering to William. "You might want to tell her when there are less people around, minimize the casualties." He winked at him again.

Then standing he turned to face Scully. "Hello gorgeous!"

**The End**

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><p><strong>Thank You to everyone who read this, hope you enjoyed it.<strong>

**Agent George Myers belongs to The X-Filer.**


End file.
